The Horns of a Dilemma

Question

When does your concern for another human being become poking your nose into their privacy?

In my working life I came into contact with many less fortunate people than myself. I always thought of myself as being indestructible. I thought that many of their problems were caused through their own actions and sometimes stupidity. But after talking to them I realsed life is not as simple as that and you shouldn’t generalise.

Then three years ago life caught up with me as well and I went through a very dark period where I could have got rid of the pain forever. But I was saved by one who cared. Now those days have gone but at 79 I know I have, what we all have in varying amounts, a life limiting time on earth, it’s just as you get older it’s likely to be shorter.

Anyway, the sky has brightened for me and I am determined to use what time I have left, in firstly helping others but also by doing what I really want to do. In my case it is to express myself using the written word.

I have just returned from a visit to the East Coast of England where I have been meeting people to gain information before I start writing my next novel. I met and conversed with Canadians and Americans who are over here on vacation. But however interesting I found their conversations my mission was to search out and talk to local people and I used my only contact in the area to help me achieve this goal.

My guide was well known in the area and smoothed my way with introductions, he placed me on a pedestal as a ‘Published Writer of Historical Novels’. That accolade is usually a door opener to certain sectors of the population, whereas in many cases I see indifference.

But let me get to the point because yesterday, I came away with a problem after meeting a man half my age, a local business man who admitted he has large financial problems due to his obsession with drinking too much alcohol.

After my contact and I had visited several inns in the village at which this alcoholic new

acquaintance kept popping up, each time with a different beverage. I engaged him in conversation. I am a great believer in the Latin term ‘In Vito Veritas’ loosely translated, ‘in wine lies truth.

I learned all about his financial woes and he had admitted that these were largely due to him drinking too much. My rather short northern answer to him was then stop drinking as much and pay your bills. His answer was “I wish I could”. Then more lucidly he asked me why I wrote novels which meant I had to tell him about my own black days, though they had nothing to do with drink as I am practically teetotal.

When I’d skated over it, fairly superficially, the man was almost in tears and he said that what I’d told him had deeply touched him and had helped him to see that he was not the only one who had experienced the darkness of depression. He kept saying he couldn’t stop thinking of what I had said and how much better he felt that he was not alone. I have to say that actually made me feel better thinking I had quite unexpectedly helped another human being who earlier had been swearing loudly and aggressively for all to hear.

He now settled and feeling so much better insisted that the five of us now gathered around him should celebrate. He asked the barman to open the expensive bottle of Scotch that looked as if it had been on the shelf for some time waiting for a wealthy patron to celebrate some good luck that had come their way. The man was not in a fit state to argue with.

As practically a non drinker and the fact that I was going to be driving my contact back to his home then returning back to my digs along narrow country lanes and into the town as it was getting dark, I would have preferred an orange juice however that would have insulted this gentleman so I had a sip and then hid the glass still half full out of sight, what a waste if you were a connoisseur. I left my card with the guy and told him if he ever wanted to talk, to ring me. I repeated my offer three time before he admitted he would.

Then coming home today I got to thinking had I done enough to help him. I’m not a Samaritan, nor have I had any training with dealing with troubled people. I don’t really want to have to deal with other peoples problems but should I have done something more active and positive to help him even though he never openly asked for help? Or would that be going too far?